[WHY DO WE FEAR JUDGEMENT FROM OTHERS SO MUCH?] PART 1
At some point in our lives (like all the fucking time), we experience a fear or concern about what others think of us.
We grow concerned with whether they will like us, accept us and think of us in a positive light.
Now before you start thinking "great, another post about not caring what people think", this isn't. So stay tuned.
What if I told you there was a legitimate REASON we experience this emotional state of concern, fear and anxiety around what other people think?
And what if I told you there are a couple of things you can do to limit those feelings, or move yourself out of those feelings much quicker?
Be pretty fucking cool right?
Well, here goes.
The Triune Brain theory purposes that there are actually 3 brains operating within our brain.
The first, and most primitive, is the Reptilian brain. Which is concerned with only 5 things, known as the 5 Fs.
Simply put, it's concern is to preserve YOUR life and to ensure species survival. Basically "don't die, procreate". Two of the most basic of species survival requirements.
The second is the mammalian brain. Which is concerned with social interactions and connection.
It is constantly asking questions like;
"Who am I connected to?" "How accepted am I?" "Will I be protected by my connections incase of illness or danger?"
Basically, who has your back when you need it.
Again, a survival mechanism.
As mammals our brains are capable more complex thoughts and actions.
Which we develop as we grow.
But that also means we are born extremely vulnerable and unaware of the dangers life presents.
These social connections to our parents, siblings, relatives and friends are designed to ensure we have a support network to help us grow.
As well as teach us about the DOs and DONTs of life that will keep us alive.
Again, self preservation and preservation of the species.
The third brain, is the human brain. The part of the brain that is responsible for self actualisation.
"What am I going to do with my life?" "Where am I going to live?" "What house will I buy?" "What car will I drive?" "Who am I going to marry?" "How many kids will I have?"
The human part of the brain is responsible for creating and chasing future plans and dreams.
But here is the kicker, we can't access all 3 brains at once.
Oh no! See there is a pecking order. It's actually the order I wrote them out in. Reptile comes first, mammal next, human last.
Or to put it simply;
YOU DONT GET TO MEET THE HUMAN UNTIL THE ANIMALS ARE HAPPY!
Makes sense right? If you are planning your holiday in a cafe and all of a sudden a person bursts in with a gun....you don't give two shits flying fuck about whether you are going to Mauritius or the Maldives next year!
You only care about getting out of the current situation alive and in one piece!
That is the reptilian brain kicking in!
But, fortunately that doesn't happen to us all that often (at least I hope it doesn't!).
Makes sense when you think about it, we are seldom in a literal life or death situation (at least I hope you aren't!), so the reptilian brain is rarely (hopefully) the cause of our struggles.
In fact, the mammalian brain is what causes MOST of our fears and concerns in our lives.
The vast majority of our problems tend to live in the mammalian brain.
As discussed above, the reptilian brain is rarely called upon, leaving only the mammalian brain to get in our way.
So by now you should be able to see that our fears and concerns around what people think are HARDWIRED into our brains.
They are part of our survival mechanism!
So try not to beat yourself up about caring what people think. It happens to EVERYONE (even if they say the don't care...they do)!
And I say this from experience as I am someone who has struggled with fulfilling many of my own goals due to my fears and concerns about whether people will judge me or not.
Now as I mentioned earlier, there are ways to limit the amount of "noise" the mammals make.
But as I have rambled on, I will save that for next time.
Keep those eyes peeled for part 2!
Truth, Joy, Love
P.S. If you want to know more about what the brain does and how to work WITH the brain and not AGAINST it, drop me a line, I can teach you the ways!