• TJ


During a long drive to the South Coast, I decided it would be a bit of fun to engage my parents and sister in some philosophical debate.

I found a webpage with 75 different "deep and philosophical" questions on it. The one above REALLY caught my attention as a coach.

This question also sparked a lengthy debate which made the journey pass SO much quicker!

Destiny coming from the Latin, destinare, meaning "make firm, establish"

Fate coming from the Latin, fata meaning "prophetic declaration of what must be, oracle, prediction,"

The question essentially is "To what extent can we make firm or establish our own future, and to what extent is it predetermined?"

My sister (Amy) was initially of the opinion that to an extent you can shape your destiny, but ultimately fate plays a big role too.

Amy believed that there are some circumstances in life that we have absolutely no control over and they may lead us away from our destiny.

I however, came from the stance that everyone is entirely able to determine their own destiny and fate has very little (if anything) to do with it.

I believed that irrespective of the circumstance, we always have a choice of how we decide to deal with that situation. Which ultimately can either lead us away from or towards our destiny.

Amy believed that circumstance could alter our course, which would shape our future.

Fundamentally I agreed, but I argued that the course we take to arrive at our destiny may change, but eventually, we will arrive at our destiny none the less.

Amy suggested that "if that were the case, everyone would reach their destiny".

To which I replied, "no, everyone has the opportunities to reach their destiny, most people simply choose not to (either consciously or unconsciously)".

After a great deal of back and forth, my sister and I finally came to an agree on an idea that we could both accept.

We agreed that fundamentally, we as human beings are fully able to determine our own destiny, fate simply provides us with opportunities.

What I mean by this is that we are the ones walking the path, fate provides the forks in the road where we must make a choice. To either continue our course, take a detour, or alter or path completely (thus altering our destiny).

For example, you may believe your destiny is to be a world class athlete, you train and prepare as a world class athlete would.

Then, you suffer a debilitating injury, fate has offered you a choice. Continue training to become a world class athlete (paraolympian as opposed to olympian for example), or choose to change your destiny and pursue other ventures.

Ultimately, WE determine our destiny EVERYDAY through the choices we make. Who we interact with, how we spend our and where we invest our energy.

So what are YOUR choices doing to YOUR destiny?

Also would be really interested to hear other opinions on the question in the title, what are your thoughts?

Truth, Joy, Love.


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TJ Hubbard Confidence Coach

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