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[The Truth About Promises]



I’d consider myself a generous and giving person.


Yet I also find myself being quite possessive about my possessions.


Not that I’m super materialistic or anything, I don’t seek to own expensive watches, I don’t care much for designer labels and I have little desire to own multiple fast, exotic cars.


But I’m still get a bit uncomfortable when other people borrow my things.


See, when I was in school, whilst still a young boy, I was happy to lend people pens, pencils, sharpeners and all other manor of stationary to my classmates so that they could do their work.


I actually really enjoyed helping my classmates to complete their work through lending them stationary (I had a FULLY stocked pencil case at all times!).


However, at a young age, I noticed a pattern amongst those I leant stationary to.


Eventually, they would lose or break or “misplace” (steal) my stationary.


The first time it happened, I didn’t really make anything of it, after all, I had lost some of my own things before, so I understood it happened from time to time.


Yet, as I continued to lend out stationary to people I noticed more and more of it went missing.

I started to realise that my stuff wasn’t that important to others, they didn’t give it the care I would have wanted them to or they sometimes outright disrespected it altogether.


I felt angry, frustrated, pissed of and upset that my classmates and friends didn’t show the care and respect to my stuff as they would their own.


Slowly, I lost trust in people being able to look after, care for and return the things I had lent them.


To the point where I would outright refuse to lend a single pen from the plethora of pens in my pencil case, because I didn’t want to risk the disappointment of having them fail to return it as it was given to them, if at all.


Even people that DID look after my stuff and give it back were denied.


I had lost trust entirely in people’s ability to care for my things.


At the time, it seemed like I was upset about the ‘stuff’, when actually, it was nothing to do with my possessions.


It was all about my TRUST.


When I leant them something I trusted them to return it to me, in the same condition they received it.


I trusted them to ensure that it didn’t get lost.


I trusted them to respect and care for it.


I trusted them.


I felt an unspoken promise had been made between the two of us, that no harm shall befall whatever I had leant them and in return, I would continue to lend it when needed.


Every time that promise was broken I lost trust, it got damaged and the value of their word diminished in my mind.


You’ve probably had this experience too right?


Someone who makes promises, spoken or unspoken with you, yet seems to break them just as often as not.


Imagine if they kept making you promises and kept breaking them.


How would that make you feel?


Would you trust them?


Would you have any confidence in them?


What if the person that kept breaking the promises they made to you…was you?


The truth is, an underlying and ever present factor in our self-confidence is how regularly we make promises to ourselves and how regularly we keep them or not.


Once we start to make and keep the promises we make to ourself more often than not, is when we start to take a step towards radical self-confidence.


Don’t believe me, give it a try, you’ll see!


Truth, Joy, Love


TJ ✌🏻

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TJ Hubbard Confidence Coach

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