[The Truth About Highly Confident People]
Have you ever met or seen someone and thought “WOW! They are SO confident, they are so lucky!”
If fact, they probably left you wondering how on earth they became so confident.
You may speculate that they have had many great wins in their life and their ability to successfully navigate life gifts them with confidence.
You have likely felt envious of them, as they seemingly effortlessly manoeuvre themselves into incredible positions of privilege and and prosperity.
Perhaps, you have even let out a sigh and muttered to yourself “oh to be them”.
Truth is, we have all had those kind of thoughts and feelings at some point in our lives.
But when we do, are we missing something? Are we allowing ourselves to believe a half truth?
For if a person only grows confidence from wins, would any of us have any confidence?
Michael Jordan is considered one of THE greatest NBA players of all time, so his confidence in his game would have been astronomical!
Yet, one of my favourite quotes from one of the NBA’s greatest stars is this:
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I have been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life-and that is why I succeed."
The man is one of the greatest ever NBA players OF ALL TIME, yet he missed over 9000 shots in his career, including 26 game winning shots!
How’s that for a confidence crusher?
Yet, he will always be remembered as one of the greatest to ever have graced the basketball court.
To achieve that kind of status in any area of life, you’ve gotta have UNBELIEVABLE self-confidence.
To take the shots that shouldn’t be taken, to risk things that shouldn’t be risked, to dare where others daren’t.
That takes an INCREDIBLE amount of self belief to go after something with that much passion, energy and determination.
And Michael Jordan is but one of MANY people who you’d imagine would ooze self confidence, yet, ALL of them would have experienced similar failings.
So what is there that we aren’t seeing? How can individuals who fail SO much, but the ones who are breaking records, changing industries and shaping the world we live in?
The truth is, we are only seeing but a fraction of what really is.
If you had observed MJ during his NBA days, you may have thought his success was due to the pep talks he gave himself, the hours he would have spent visualising making shots and setting up plays, the hours in the gym and on the court or even that he wore his College basketball shorts under his Chicago Bulls shorts every game.
The truth is, it’s none and ALL of these things plus SO much more.
NONE of them individually made MJ great, instead ALL of these things and much, MUCH more combined made him and all time great.
In fact, THE most confident people amongst us are like icebergs (well, we are all like icebergs, but we’re really interested in the highly confident right?), in that what is seen is literally only the tip.
It’s just the visible part of a MUCH deeper, wider and vaster thing.
So should your confidence be like an iceberg.
To all outside appearances, there isn’t a great deal that makes you all that confident. Yet if someone was to look below the surface, they would see an IMMENSE mass of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values and actions that ALL contribute to your astounding confidence!
If icebergs don’t have a vast mass underneath the surface, they are prone to toppling, spinning and inverting. When we think about confidence like this, it does seem to make a fair bit of sense as to why our confidence can take a hit and suddenly it feels like we’re drowning.
And I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly set on the idea of drowning any time soon.
So next time you see someone and you are in awe of the confidence they exude, you’ll know, there is a tremendous amount going on ‘below the surface’.
The confidence we see is only the tip, what lies underneath is what REALLY matters.
Truth, Joy, Love