• TJ

[The Enormous Error With "Not Giving A Fuck”]

This may sound a bit counter to the idea and message I share, that YOU are the centre of your cosmos, which I absolutely believe and support. At no point, however, will I say to ‘not give a fuck’, because I feel there is merit in ‘giving a fuck’. 'Not giving a fuck' can seem like a great idea at first. The opinions of others don’t concern you, you don’t care how you are perceived, you won’t be embarrassed by your actions because, well, you don’t give a fuck. But this is an error for two reasons. One, because we are DESIGNED to give a fuck, our brains have evolved TO give a fuck about what others think and how we are perceived. Trying to fight our biology is a rather fruitless exercise. More importantly however, not giving a fuck about how you are perceived and what people think is only going to make it HARDER to connect with people. Like it or not, we live in a world where we are surrounded by people. Moreover, going back to point one, we are designed to be interdependent. Sure we can get by without others, but there will always be a part of us that NEEDS other people in our lives to experience life in a truly fulfilling way. ‘Not giving a fuck’ is essentially a swift kick in the nads to the part of ourselves that needs and desires human contact. ‘Not giving a fuck’ allows us to be arrogant, narcissistic, self-centred, blunt, belligerent and abrasive to others. Sure, it may feel great at first, you may draw some level of confidence from it, but eventually, that confidence WILL dwindle. When the abrasiveness, belligerence and bluntness start to push others away and the part of you that craves human contact is neglected, it’s hard to feel confident in ourselves. You would certainly start to question your methods if ALL the important people in your life started to distance themselves from you wouldn’t you? The error with ‘not giving a fuck’ is that is permits and promotes us to neglect our people skills, either we stop developing them, or worse, we destroy them altogether! Seeing as people will always be in our lives, ‘not giving a fuck’ more often than not leads to 'being fucked' (and not in the good way). I’m much more in favour of choosing when and where I give the 'important fucks’, but when they aren’t being given, still giving ‘enough of a fuck’ so as not to leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth about our interaction. Where are you not giving ‘enough of a fuck’ with the people in your life? Truth, Joy, Love TJ ✌🏻

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