• TJ

[Are You Truly Confident, Or Just A Con-Artist?]

Confidence is something we all need throughout our lives, whether it’s to pursue a major goal, to show our personality in social situations, to ask for the raise or promotion we believe we deserve or to approach that certain someone who has caught your eye. Confidence is something, I believe, is worth developing and nurturing. Most people feel they have a degree in confidence around something, it may be their job, their relationship, their friendships or their hobbies. Sadly, some people are also only really confident about their lack of confidence, which is a bit oxymoronic isn’t it? But any who. What most people don’t realise is that they may actually be a con artist and not actually truly confident. You see confidence comes from the latin ‘confidere’ which means “to have full trust in” and a con artist is "a person who cheats or tricks others by persuading them to believe something that is not true”. Many people out there operate as con artists, they use confidence ‘cheats’, ‘tricks’ and ‘hacks’ to give themselves an in the moment boost of “confidence”. For me, these are just ‘cheats’, ‘tricks’ and ‘hacks’ that create a bravado about us. They can be powerful and serve us quite well in the very short term, but they do nothing for our actual confidence. In this way, they actually make us a con artist, they help us to persuade others that we are confident, when actually we aren’t all that confident. I know I’ve certainly don it in the past! I have definitely used tricks and hacks to make myself feel “confident” in the moment, only to begin to question and query EVERYTHING I thought, said and did in that moment. In other words, I displayed a complete lack of trust in myself. I was anything BUT confident at the time. To have true confidence and to have full trust in ourselves, we must go through a MUCH deeper process and in MUCH more detail than the ‘cheats’, ‘tricks’ and ‘hacks’ will ever go. Someone with true confidence still reflects on what they thought, said and did, the difference is a truly confident person reflects momentarily before accepting, acknowledging and approving their actions and moving on. The con artist will often ruminate and reflect on the moment for minutes, hours, days or even weeks. The con artist knows something was a miss, but isn’t sure exactly what it is. True confidence is the one who will calmly talk about jumping off the cliff and will then do it. The con artist is the one who hypes up how they will jump of the cliff, without actually jumping. Would you jump? Truth, Joy, Love TJ ✌🏻

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TJ Hubbard Confidence Coach

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