• TJ

[An Open Letter To Those Who Put Others First]

Over the last couple of years I have engaged a whole bunch of people in a conversation about their lives, their dreams and why they might not be getting what they truly desire from life. Honestly, I find the conversations are bittersweet. Sweet because I have met some TRULY remarkable people and had some WONDERFULLY interesting, inspiring and insightful conversations. But bitter because in many of those conversations I saw the same signs and symptoms over and over again. I saw people who have big, bold and beautiful hearts giving away so much of their time, energy effort and love to receive little in return or at least not in the ways that they most deeply desire. I saw people who desperately want the brightest, boldest and best future for those around them, yet settle for a much meeker, milder and more mediocre future for themselves. I saw some of the most kind, caring and compassionate people I have met struggling to create engaging, extraordinary and enjoyable lives that they simply adore. I get it, I really do! You want the BEST for those around you, you wish for them to experience everything life has to offer and more. I get it. But I HAVE to ask… What about YOU? What about all the love that you aren’t receiving for and from yourself? What about your bright, bold and brilliant future that you aren’t creating? What about the engaging, extraordinary and enjoyable life you could be having? Who is leading THAT charge if not YOU? I get that you feel that it’s somehow selfish, self-centred and self-absorbed to want what you want and to make time to chase it. I get that you feel that without your input, involvement and interference those you seek to aid will likely struggle for longer and suffer harder. But what about YOU? When will it be the right time? When will you be in the right place? When will all the stars align and the tide be right? When will everything fall into place? When will you be ready to take the steps, make the time and commit to the process that will lead to YOUR dream life? The truth is, there is NEVER a right time, there is NEVER a right place and you will likely NEVER be fully ready. But that doesn’t mean it will never happen. That doesn’t mean it will never work. That doesn’t mean you will never reach that peak. Yet what I see over and over is brilliantly barmy and beautiful people put their life on hold to hoist up the lives of others. Know I’m not knocking them for wanting to aid and abet those they care about, not at all, in fact I celebrate that quality in people! What I am questioning, however, is their current thinking around it. When you get on a plane and are listening to the safety demonstration, at the point they mention oxygen masks they ALWAYS say "If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask first, and then assist the other person”. Why? Because you can’t help someone with their mask if you're losing oxygen and essentially suffocating, right? So, why then, do you not treat your life in the same way? Why go through life ‘putting on’ everyone else’s ‘oxygen mask’ before you have ‘put on' your own? Then end up questioning why you are finding it SO hard to breathe. Put on your own mask first, it's ok, just breathe. It's gonna be ok. Truth, Joy, Love TJ ✌🏻


TJ Hubbard Confidence Coach

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